Until today.

I got two kisses from 2 adorable boys today..:)
Hehe..The first one's name is Yang yang...He's 2+..

We were singing and reading with them and he starts walking around
so I took his hand and brought him closer to me..
then I lifted him up and sat him on a chair..then he looks at me..and i smile at him
and he gives me a big smile in return and moves to my cheek and gives me a kiss on the cheek..:)
I laughed and said thank you..and he gave a little giggle..haha..he's soo cute..


And the second one..His name is Jacob..:) he's 2 and mixed british sarawakin..

He started feeling a little restless when one of the teachers were reading..So he started moving around..so i caught him and held him and he looks at me face to face and does his lips like a 'fishy'(haha) so i did too..and he gives me a peck on the lips..haha..

They are all just so sweet..and so far..it has been a great experience for me..No matter how tired I am to get up in the morning and go to work, I look forward to spending another day teaching and playing with the little ones..hehe.The older ones too of course..:) Though it can get tiring. They are so cute that sometimes when you need to scold them you just can't stay mad..I have to like kiss them on the cheek or hug them after..which is so not good..my boss says I need to be a little more strict with the 2 yr olds but...HOW??:( they're too adworable!:)

I could but I won't.

I could write all sorts of things right here
But I don't have the guts to..
I could face that fear in my heart and not hide
But I'm just afraid to..
I could,oh I could with so many things
and I might even want to..But I won't.
Maybe not just yet

No really you do.

So...my piano exam is over..:D no piano class for 2 weeks! weeheee...hehehe..i could roll all over the floor right now if it wasn't for this stupid headache. But I am looking forward to when class starts cause its grade 8 already..and I'm looking forward to learning the pieces..grade 8 always has nicer pieces..:) AND I have learned my lesson..I'm so gonna start practicing more..I think the minute class starts again..We're gonna start getting ready for my grade 8 exam that would probably be in 2 yrs time..(pracitcal)

And on another topic...

I got a job...and here's the best part..its exactly what I've been praying for..(thank you Lord..)
Its at a..'kindergarten'..ok well its a learning centre for little kids..and its 5 days a week from only 9am to 12pm..and my boss even offered to send me home!:) she's a friend's mother..oh God works in mysterious ways..hehe..ok well its not exactly mysterious but totally awesome..:D but anyways,after work..I still have time to do school and my other priorities..:) just need to keep focus focus focus..hocus pocus..lol. This is actually just temporary until the holiday is over. And if doesn't get in the way of piano and school then maybe it'll go on..but if does then I think I have to stop..heh.. I was suppose to start today but I woke up not feeling well at all..:( so I had to call her and tell her I can only come in tomorrow..OH and she even told me I can choose which age group I wanna help out with..if I pick the younger group,I get to like sing with and to them and read stories and stuff..But I'm gonna go check it out tomorrow first..:)


Ok..I'm babbling..if any of you has actually read all of this..hahha..well then thank you..:)

Messy messy mess

These tears I cry, I wish they were gone
These eyes that bleed, oh go away please
This heart that's broken, I no longer want
Take me to a secret place where I can only see You
Take this all away I pray
I wanna be whole again..
So deep, so so deep inside
What do I do?
How, just tell me how...
And I'll do it..
I can take it..I need to anyway..

Oreo and gummybears..:)

I miss me joellebobelle and tammywammy..♥

oooh..pink..what's going on?

I miss that feeling..
That feeling that drives me crazy..
That feeling that just makes me keep smiling..:))
Those butterflies..oh those butterflies,I hate and yet love so much♥

Like art,poems and ballets..:)

Oh gosh..I think I am currently now addicted to Debussy..♥
'Its like the beautiful melody is simmering under the surface just waiting to break free..'

Anyways,if whoever is reading is interested..here you go..:)

This one below is currently my favorite..:)

Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun



And my second favorite..hehe..
Clair De Lune



And finally..
Reverie

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..(HAHA)

I should update at least something shouldn't I..
Well there you go..haha.

Anyways,I'm all of a sudden in Christmas mode..
Cause of matt..:P i mean ytd we were listening to David Archuleta's new christmas album
And I went crazy when I heard the duet he did with Charice Pempenco..
Its sad that David Archuleta's singing songs like crush and stuff..cmon,I think he's better than that..:)
But here you go....:)



Anyways,I hope this gives you a christmassy feelingish thingy as much as it does for me..:D
I'm looking forward to Christmas this year..definitely more than last year..wayyy more..heh.
But the best was 2 years ago christmas..:) oh how I wish it was still the same..but that is definitely too much to ask.

I missed you just by a few minutes.

You piss me off...seriously.

ps:title has nothing to do with this post.

Someone offered me a job today!:)

Sometimes I wish I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
So I can savor every moment

hmmmm..freaked?

Its alright,Its ok
I'm just gonna keep on smiling anyway
That's what you wanted..
So don't worry..I'll keep smiling..

on a total different topic..

I need to get out..Can't wait for thursday and friday....

a split..

I have no idea why my right hand is hurting so bad..
I'm trying to remember if I carried anything heavy yesterday..hmm..
Anyways,yesterday turned out well..:) Pictures coming out soon from Darynne's camera..
But not many though..:(

I'm so excited to start reading The Curious Incident Of The Dog In the Night Time..:)
It sounds really interesting..hehe..Mark Haddon..I don't know why the author's name sounds so familiar..

And...

Justin's in Melaka till Wednesday..
And its not even a day and I already miss him..
I didn't get to say bye to him this morning..since I was rushing to church..
heh..I woke up soo late..only cause I couldn't sleep last night..
till like 3..I had to play some music on my phone to get things off my mind..
and then I woke up at 5 to realize the music was still playing..oh my poor phone had no battery when I woke up..
And the worst part was that..when I woke up at 5..it felt like I was only asleep for 10 minutes..
Anybody had that feeling before? i did..:( it wasn't a very nice feeling..and the worst part was that I had to actually try to go back to sleep..i finally did again..and woke up at 8.30 which is the actual time I had to be in church by..
I have no idea why the heck I couldn't sleep when I was so exhausted from the whole day..but anyways,today was a good day..:)

haha..oh,I suck at knowing how to end my blog posts..so um...ok bye..:)

Heeeee..:)

Happy Birthday Justin! I love you!:))

One year,Three months.

Stupid stupid pain..I hate this time of the month..I can barely walk..:(
And I don't even feel like talking. no pmsing

Anyways,yesterday was fun..The whole 'old gang' met up with uncle kevin. We ate at figs and olive..It was alright..:) Tomorrow we're celebrating Justin's birthday at Shogun..hehehe..He even texted me with a smiley face telling me that.I don't know..my brother hardly uses smiley faces when texting.I love him..:))



ps: title has nothing to do with the topic..heh.

Suspenses

Thinking about it makes me sick..
I'm sorry..I really am..It'll be different now I promise..

I need a job...

No matter how much your heart is aching
There's beauty in the breaking

I don't have a title for this..:)

how do i fight something when I'm so tired of feeling?


Anyways,:) I was talking on the phone with tam today and gosh we haven't talked in so long..almost 3 months.What do you do when you haven't talked to the person you talk about EVERYTHING to for soo long?? haha..its unbearable..I miss her so dearly. Its great cause we always keep each other on track. If I'm doing something I should not be doing then she would talk some sense into me. Just like me to her..:) So yea we had a lot of catching up to do(on the phone) and it was great. We're not usually known for being able to talk on the phone for too long. I don't know why but somehow we're the kinda friends who just needs to see each other for everything to be said?

But anyways, we were talking about the things that hurt but is the right thing to do. And just how amazing God is. I remember writing a post quite awhile back saying "I feel your pain.My heart aches when yours aches.My heart breaks when I see you breaking."
And that's just it.What more do we need to know that God is there?:)

So yea,moving on..hehe. We went on to talking and talking and then it was time to say goodbye..:( cause we both had to do school anyway..haha. So after putting down the phone. It rings again and I pick it up and she says she forgot to tell me,check out http://christablack.blogspot.com :) GIRLS,check it out..its awesome..:) She's apparently a best friend of Jill from Hillsongs and she's famous..but anyways,she writes alot about God,her life and how she gets through it..she gives advice and all that..it helps.Best to start with the oldest post and moving on..:) hehe.

ANYWAYS,I don't know..I was in the mood to post something today..considering I haven't posted anything for about 3 weeks already..Eheh. Oh yea,tam also found a whole recording of us all singing at an open mic we held like 2 yrs ago..and that time we were still 20 minutes.(consisting of Josh,Joelle,Tam and I) haha..I can't believe it was just 2 yrs ago we were at the competition Digi Celebriteen. Felt way longer. We've all grown so much from there and that.:)
My,my..its already September. Sooo many things has changed. Bittersweet and strange? OUCH.

I don't know how to end this post..So um...ok..bye..:)

Unseen Blisters

Go away..just please..Go away..

We've been down to the bottom

Scroll down all the way to the bottom
And even on the other far end of this
Just as far as what really is in reality
I close my eyes..
To only wish that its not really what it is
Only to see that it never really works
As my eyes are wide open
It aches and breaks
I'd rather see in the dark
If only to not be able to face what's really out there
No its not that I'm a coward..
It just hurts too much to face it all the time
and not be able to do anything..

Not again..

Sometimes I wish I could see pain,
so i can get a hold of it and throw it away or let it go

Someday We'll know..

Just some quotes..:)

"Hopefully all the pain will be worth it."

"Whats the point of wiping the tears away when it still comes over and over again?"



"I like it here..you bring something broken then you fix it up"



"You're the best cookie in the world!"

Way back when?

I love this..:) My time with you by David Choi and Kina Grannis..hehe..i like their voices together..:)




Kina Grannis..:)

Trust

This sucks..i have to quit vocal classes for awhile..(due to circumstances)
The one thing I actually really look forward to so far for this year..and I have to stop..
It sucks more because I finally(after a yr) found an awesome vocal teacher that I've been looking for..Singing is my passion..and sometimes it gets things off my mind..and going for classes gets me looking forward to something on Wednesdays..or rather during the weekdays..Piano just gets too stressful sometimes especially this year with all the pushing and pushing from both sides to finish grade 7 'PROPERLY'..need to keep priorities in order..haha. and so does theory..and not forgetting school..oh school! that's another topic!haha. But when it comes to vocal classes..its like I get to forget all those other things AND all that's going on for awhile..Oh well..:( Vocal shouldn't be the main thing right now i suppose..so I guess i have to push that away and focus on the 'MORE IMPORTANT STUFF..' (though vocal is really important to me)..haha.but i guess i have to be patient..it won't be for very long anyway..i hope.no wait..i know..:)
Anyways,here's a video..:) heh.

Pixie Lott..i love her voice..:D

I love this song and the video! thanks mark..:) relative i suppose..heh..

This was an awesome dance rountine done about 3 yrs ago at one of our Breakthru session..by Joni,Eunice,Mandy,Darren,Thomas and Sidney..:)

I like Blue..:)

You promised and said that its never gonna change
I believed you and agreed that it won't..I promised you too..
But I understand now that some promises just can't be kept
So many things have changed but not whats inside..

I haven't updated in awhile..so this will be it..:P

yeehee..:) i finally got a playlist!
i've been wanting to get one on my blog for about 2-3 yrs already..
but i never knew how to do it..but thanks to someone..(thank you to that person..:))
now i have one..hehehe..
I'm so happy..:) I love it so..:)
Its at the corner below the about me..and the layout is so pweety..:D haha.
Hope you guys like the music on it..heh..:)

Note to God

If you wanna skip right to where the song starts..its at 2:05..:)






ahh!AMAZING!hehe..i know this is originally done by Jojo but oh she did it so so good..good is not even a word for her..better than that!(maybe i'm exageratting a little too much..hehe)
not one note flat and she wasn't even pitchy..she even cried while singing and yet held the note all the way..and sang it with so much feeling and emotion..awesome..
and the one Jojo did was in a minor key..this one's in a major..i like this one better..:) David Foster did good..:D
Don't get me wrong..
Jojo's version was nice too..but i would like to see if she could do it as good as that live..

Something different

hehe..ok this is definitely weird and something different..but i really like this song..:)
he looks freaky too..eheh..lots of friends have actually told me to turn it off when i play it cause its irritating or weird or etc etc..my brothers and i are the only ones that like it so far..haha..
so hopefully you guys do too?
this song was in the show Frankenstein..

This is the original video..:)

When confusion takes place

"Love is like mercury in your hand..
try and grasp it and it will seep out..
but let it be and it will stay.."

this is a quote from some lady who wrote in reader's digest..
according to Darren Ashley i mean..haha..but i really like it..:)

Just in the mood to upload videos i've been checking out..heh

Rosi Golan..This girl doesn't seem to have any live performances..:(
I prefer seeing it live cause thats when you can really tell how good they are..
But oh well..this song's still real nice..:)

And...Natasha Bedingfield..I'm sure everyone knows this song..:)
But I just wanted to post the live one..
where the ending is just awesome..:)



haha..And this is for you Bethel..(that is if you're reading this..)
I think the girl is filipino too..:)

Here's a whole bunch of videos that I found..:)
And I really like these songs so I thought I might as well just share it..hehe..

This is Erin McCarley..I love the lyrics in this..:)



I found this girl on youtube(obviously..heh) her name is Katie Melua and she's from UK..
I would say her music's pretty different..
Her music and lyrics are pretty cool..:) and so is this video..






On a totally different style of music,this is Brazilian Jazz..
And its awesome..:)



This one's the same one but in english..it was so hard to find the english version that is actually good..and so far this was the best..:) i'm actually learning this song right now and i love it..:D

Back from Camp..:)

I just realized that if tortoises didn't have their shells..
I'd be really afraid of them..cause they'd look like lizards..
But I loveee my brother's tortoises..hehe..:)
And all they want is fooodddd..
And tortoises..are not very bright..haha..

I should have at least said or done something..

Heart full of questions..

Fear..yea that's the word
So afraid that now you just put on another face
So maybe just maybe people won't see all of it in you?
It actually works.
Getting too comfortable with this is not good
And yet its starting to feel good?
So so far away from what used to be..
The loneliness sometimes catches up with you
That ends up being your only friend..
Pathetic how I watch myself climb up only to find myself fall back down again
Maybe because I'm trying with my own strength?yea thats it....

hmm...

I'm so bored without Justin around..:(
haha..I miss him..I miss playing around with him
and laughing with him..especially in the car..:(

Heee..i love my brothers..:)

Am getting sick and tired of this.

Seriously..when is this all gonna end?
I know its kinda up to me..but there aren't any other options..
This is actually really exhausting.

Hmm..I kinda miss awards night..all the performing and awards..:)
Rushing to sing and then rushing to go up and get your awards every 2 seconds..
That is if you get any..haha..

Anyways,this is my 200th post already..yay!!
Doesn't really matter though..but i'm just saying..eheh..

Unwritten

Center stage,a single spotlight for us to tell our story
The other actors,all at the corner watching closely..
For every move you make..watching for a single mistake.
The director of the whole play,watches but says nothing and waits.

Miss a line or make a fool of yourself..then everyone points and laughs.
And you just stand there..confidence all broken into pieces.
The director then finally says cut..
Sets you aside..and molds you into a better actor you can possibly be..

So he says,who cares what they say..
No one writes your story but you..
I'm just there to help you when you mess up
To set you on the right track.


So now,my story?
Well the rest is still unwritten....

Today was a full,busy and productive day..

It started off with teaching in school..
Here are some photos of the students..:)

Josh..:) he's miss grace's son..and soooo adorable..heeee

Rachel..the tiny sweet girl who loves hugging..:)

Jesse..who always always smiles..:)

Elissa..who always sneaks out of her desk to sit next to me
while i'm teaching..:)

Jonathan..the intelligent,soon to be doctor..
who's also miss grace's son..:)

Dwight..the tall shy/friendly giant..and..
Shaun..I have nothing to say about him..:P

We were playing a game in chapel..
and they got a little too far..hah..

So after that..
I checked my eyes cause of the contacts..went to eat banana leaf with tam and justin..
Had those awesome deep conversations with my one and only tammywammy
(we're growing day by day,bringing each other closer to God..:))
And then I went for this conference at City Harvest Church with tammy..:)
It was good..packed,loud and full of God-passionate people..:D

And....the thing I've been waiting,looking and wanting desperately to get.....

Strawberry Shortcake lotion..:D heee..
Tammy finally found it..and guess where..GIANT!
haha..and i was looking everywhere for it..I'm so happy..
It smells awesome..:D me and my lotions..ehehe..

A Walk To Remember

Yea the title makes sense...
oh and I've also been craving the movie for the past 3 weeks..
And also the song someday we'll know is quite relative..hmm..

Camp is coming!

I went for a dentist appointment yesterday..It felt like i was in surgery or something..haha
And the salt water was just oh so gross!And the worst thing was that it had to stay in my mouth until she allowed me to rinse..*ugh* anyways,i will be getting braces..not sure when though..I am actually trying to imagine myself right now..like how i'd look with braces..and i really can't picture it.So I'm not really looking forward to it because the thought of it being in my mouth for 2 years is just too long..but anyways,like Laura says..beauty is pain..haha!She'll be the first though..:D

Just looking behind

Funny how its ended
and yet sometimes it feels like its back to the beginning again
So many things I wish I could say
What if its not what it is right now?
What if we shut that door and just start all over again?
Think that could happen?..I think not..
Cause then I'll just be falling back down all over again..but even deeepper...
hah..sad.

Weird dreams

This is a story of a girl
Who cried a river and drowned the whole world?

I need to go to COLD STORAGE!!

I rweally rweally miss them..:(

I really wanna get an ipod..there are just too many songs in my phone and its totally jamming my phone..but i don't wanna delete them because i need my music..but the sucky thing is that i lost the earphones..:( anyways,i'm getting contacts today!:) finally..eheh.. i try running away from wearing specs but i keep getting headaches and my eyes tend to hurt..maybe its the lack of sleep too..but seriously..i do not like wearing specs..so..contacts!:D but i'm afraid to put them on..haha..what if i poke my eye..*dumb blond moment*:P um um..what if i get color contacts..eheh..like hazel?

hmm..:)

I could hear this over and over again..
She held Celine Dion's song like it was hers even when Celine Dion was right next to her..
I could cry watching this..hehe..when she hit that note in 2:07..that was just..woah..:D
and she's the same age as me..i salute her..:)
sorry the video's a bit shaky..heh..

My Friday and Saturday..:)

So..Jacq and I went shopping for Tracy's presents on friday..

We got her lots of stuff together in one bag..hehe:)
But during that time..We went window shopping too..but not for clothes..haha!

I can't believe they sell it in memory lane now!!
A friend has it but she said it couldn't be found anymore..:(
Its a flat,fat,fluffy giraffe!
I love it..I want it..but I can't have it..
I think its like Rm70?that sucks..:(

So anyways,after all the shopping..we went to bubba gump..:)
Seriously the fried stuff are like way better than the normal ones..
But I like Curve's bubba gump better..I think the place looks nicer..heh..
The lobster tail was awesome!*grins*

heh.sauce..:)
I was bored!

Lobster tail with no flesh..haha..
I know i know..weird i took a pic of it..
I was so happy I got to eat it..and i was bored..
But seriously..i think all my work money is gone now..hah!

Plaster for tracy in case she gets hurt(inside joke)while off to Redang for 3 months..
This was part of her very very late bday present..heh..

Its meant for her cause she's one crazy driver..

This too..eheh..

And we put everything we got for her in this bag..:)
Pads,cookies,cheezels,plaster,bday card,the car thingy and a squeeshy ball:)
we had reasons..:P

So then I stayed over at Jacq's hse..and on Saturday night..
we went to pyramid again to take her out..
Kelvin,Mandy and Lyd was there too..:)

I'm gonna miss the pao pi..for 3 months..:(

I would like to try blue cheese one day..

hehe..i really like my cheese..this one was kinda bitter though..
but thats why its good..heheh
but the cheese strings are nicer..:)

Anyways,we got my mommy crocs for mother's day..:)
She loved it..and it actually looked good on her..:D
Then took my grandmama out for dinner..
She was really funny today..hehe
And I saw baby Maya-Ashley!She's so pretty now..:)
And she couldn't stop smiling and laughing..heheh..
Smiley baby..:)

Blissful or not?

So right now..I'm kinda confused with what I wanna do in the future.. Music? probably something with piano and vocal..mainly vocal.. But now I find my self interested in teaching special kids..:) My main focus is to study overseas..America?or Canada? My aunt wants me to enroll in the Yamaha school here and learn how to teach.. Then she wants me to go over to Miami eventually and help her to teach in her music school,at the same time study in one of the music schools there..the thought of that scares me..hah! But honestly,I'm not very agreeable with Yamaha's system at all.. and I'm not really interested in teaching piano..maybe vocal but not piano.
Oh performing arts is on the list too..since there's dance and singing involved.haha..but that means no more self- consciousness..and there are friends asking me to go try out and audition for musicals cause people are holding auditions in klpac..and i just need to get my own monologue and sing and dance..haha..me?act?with a monologue..hehe..like quote Shakespeare or maybe Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice..:)don't get me wrong I love them..but acting??right..Ahh!i really don't know..ANYWAYS,

Your Song-Kate Walsh


My favorite song right now..:) oh her other songs are awesome too..like..its never over,
impressionable and don't break my heart..:)

A pass time only?

No redoing the past..
Before I didn't think I'd want to..
Now I wish I could..
I wish it never happened..
I wish nothing happened..

Only shades..

Started from a good day to a horrible horrible night
Its like when its bright the world seems safer
When night comes it gets worse

As you turn the pages..empty are they..
Just like my heart right now..
Stunned as I was not as hurt as I am
To know that the truth hurts..

Picturing that picture in my head
I feel nothing..nothing at all..
How can that be?
Its not the good nothing..
Its feeling nothing like everything had stopped
I can't believe it..
Its like..it meant nothing....
Maybe it really did not mean anything before?
Looking at the word nothing over and over again..
Its looking distorted..Like the spelling is wrong
But no its not..something else is wrong...

Jeff Dunham and Melvin the superhero

haha..ok i know i'm like probably the last one to watch Jeff Dunham according to 'someone' but who cares..:)

I like Melvin..:D

Yesteryear....

No reason to hide..
I'm happy when I see you happy...

Service and Repair

Jamie Scott:

I like it here..you bring something broken and then you fix it up..

Climbing up all over again..*sigh*

Hmm..Do I need a reality check?
Yes,I think I do..:(
Running off now to Tammy and Btel..heh

hahaha..look what i found!!

Hearing THAT song just somehow hurts..

Was babysitting with Eunice last week from Monday till Saturday..Turned out to be fun..:)
I took some pics just so i could blog about it..


First night of babysitting..I woke up thinking where in the world was I..

Haha..I got freaked out..

Rishika..the intelligent girl I was babysitting..:)

Shilpa..the sweet girl..the other one I was babysitting..:)

We played cards the second night..:D
Haha..with hannah montana uno cards..(ewweeth :P)

Oh and this is the best part..I got to help Eunice teach at the kindergarten their mom owns..
It was a special ed school..
Here are pictures of some of them..

Luqman..my favourite..there's something about him that just makes me smile..:)

Rahman and Sok Fan were fighting..haha..
Its quite interesting to watch when they fight but scary when it gets out of hand
cause I had to stop it..But they were so cute..:)

Rahman was really shy when he first met me..But once I got him to loosen up..
He hugged so tight..He tried jumping on me when he hugged me..haha..I almost fell..
Eunice had to help me..lol.

My dear Sok Fan..
She went under the table when I wanted to take a picture of her..haha
She is a really special girl..:)

And this is Aishah..She's 'the boss' and also a really good poser..haha

Pretty clear she loves posing huh..:)

I had so much fun..I learned so much from them..

She's so cute..also known as 'boss No.2'
When Aishah is not around she becomes boss..haha..

She calls Eunice her sayang..:)

Haha..I wanted to take a proper picture of them but they ended up doing this..

Haha..This picture was supposed to be only of Aishah but Sok Fan went behind and posed..
So cute..:)

Hey..they are strong ok..When they hold you its like
you're being strangled..haha..

I was trying to take a picture of the spiderweb Eunice made
But as you can see it didn't work out very well..haha..

Eunice,the kakak and I stayed up till 2 am to do this..but it turned out pretty..:)

They were learning about bugs the whole week so we decorated the place..:)

Its so great to see them not only loving to you but to each other..:)
It was an amazing experience.
That whole week of getting to know them..I started falling in love with them..
And when I look at them..I pray for them..That they'll know,no matter what God loves them..
I learned to be more patient because with them its sometimes hard to handle and they throw fits sometimes but it was a great experience.They're different..intelligent,loving,sweet and special..:)
They touched my heart and made me smile in a way that I haven't in awhile..:)